Best and Worst Dressed: 2012 Academy Awards

Oh what a night. The Artist took home big, My Week with Marilyn was overshadowed by an Iron Lady and Hugo won just about every award. But let’s face it, the Oscars are all about who’s wearing who, so here are my picks for best and worst dressed.

10. Dita Von Teese in Jenny Packham:

Oh Dita, you are a goddess, and can do no wrong, and neither can this fabulous British dress designer. I love the peekaboo shoulders and beaded detailing along the collarbone, and Dita styles it to A-list perfection.

9. Glenn Close in Zac Posen.

Close looks regal in this deep green gown. As a nominee for best actress, she really rose to the occasion and shined in this look. I love the jacket over the dress- it’s a great clash of elegant women’s wear with menswear, and a nod to her role as a butler in the fantastic film, Albert Nobbs.

8. Natalie Portman in Vintage Christian Dior

Portman looks classic and chic in this dress from Dior’s Spring 1954 collection. She carries out the vintage look with a box clutch and jaw-dropping Harry Winston jewels.

7. Stacy Keibler in Marchesa

Wow. Clooney might have not won a golden statuette, but he certainly has a golden statuesque bombshell by his side! She looks stunning in this metallic, draped dress. Love it or hate it, she looks amazing.

6. Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace

There must be some trouble in her relationship, because she really sexed it up last night! This jaw-dropping, yowza-inducing velvet gown from Versace is so sexy with a thigh high slit and beautiful asymmetrical bust. I love how she kept the look simple with black peep-toe pumps and sexy hair.

5. Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani

Cruz was nothing short of dazzling in this organza confection. I love the pale blue colour and the elegant off-the-shoulder neckline. She looks like a Spanish Grace Kelly.

4. Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen

She let the dress speak for itself. Even though the styling is non-existent, I adore this black and gold embroidered couture gown. We don’t get to see a lot of McQueen on the red carpet, and this dress is a work of art.

3. Rooney Mara in Givenchy

We’re so used to seeing her in black, and this white gown is very haute couture and elegant on the actress. I love her short, Bettie Paige bangs and the fact that she let the dress speak for itself, and opted not to borrow any jewels!

2. Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford

I usually slam Paltrow’s minimalistic looks, but this white cape gown is fashion forward and divine! It’s so sleek and elegant, and something you don’t see too often on the red carpet.

1. Milla Jovovich in Elie Saab

Another white dress in my top three! She looks so elegant and gorgeous in this vintage Elie Saab gown. I love the beadwork and the one-shouldered neckline. Everywhere I looked, I saw bad hair, but not a strand is out of place on Milla’s perfectly coiffed head. The jewels and the cute little box clutch complete the vintage look. And the red lips? I’m sold.

But really… my best-dressed star of the night was…

Uggie!

Worst Dressed:

10. Katy Perry in Blumarine

Reprising her role as Smurfette at the Elton John viewing party, obvi.

9. Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera

She really likes her navy. And peplum waist dresses. Someone should tell her that both of these characteristics don’t look good on her.

8. Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad

A throwback to the old days, no doubt. This is just a little too much va va voom for the Oscars for me, and there’s something very granny about this off-white colour too.

7. Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

Everyone is raving about this dress, but I’m just not a fan. It’s not bad, but it’s not great either. The coral colour looks a little off (and clashes with her pink clutch), and is horrible for a red carpet event! I don’t like the fluffy shirred texture and the droopy bustline either. And the little bow belt? Is she 14 years old? Williams is gorgeous and should have stolen the show in a white or gold Marilyn-style gown. This one is just underwhelming!

6. Penelope Ann-Miller in Badgley Mischka

This dress is just way too young and prom for a 50-year-old star. She looks like a pink sausage.

5. Meryl Streep in Lanvin

You smug little… ah the hell with it. We all knew you were going to win the golden statue (poor Michelle), so why not show it off? I think this look is a bit too daring and borderline rude to the other nominees. Streep must have finally hired a stylist though.

4. Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli

Aren’t we over these bow-tie neck dresses? This one is a yawn and is horrible for her complexion. She’s so young and cool, why does she have to dress like some 40-something Hamptons socialite?

3. Anna Faris in Diane von Furstenberg

Did she steal this from Liza Minelli’s closet? It looks like a sequined garbage bag. Not even her cute ‘do could save this matronly look.

2. Kristen Wiig in J. Mendel

This is a teenage look on a grown-up woman. Carrie Bradshaw might have popularized the naked dress, but this tulle confection takes it to another level. The dress literally blends into her skin tone and is so tight on her. Even the dress she wore in Bridesmaids would be better!

1. Berenice Bejo in Elie Saab

It’s amazing how two Elie Saab dresses wound up on my list. One is the best, and one is definitely the worst. The Artist star looks like a bejewelled sea monster in the pistachio gown. I hate the long sleeves on such a conservative dress and the silhouette does nothing for her frame. And it looks like it weighs at least fifty pounds. Bejo wanted to show off her huge forehaed and  continued with the sea creature theme, by deciding to debut a new shade of locks… obviously channelling Disney’s interpretation of the Little Mermaid.